Kelty ^.^

He already gone 8^th day….without say anything…He pass away at 22 Oct 08..7.03pm after say last word to my dad… ”papa I kena langgar”…He juz care my dad…Last minutes after he been knocked also got energy call my dad & say the last word…

When see my dad come only his eyes close & died at the accident place.

At that nite,I was at Fo Guang Family member house…actually happy “qing gong” for Pesta Ullabana 2008 end with success…but sudden I receive call from my dad then my  mum say “brother accident died ady”…That moment…I shock & cant believe my ear hear that news…My actions make my fo guang member all worry…I cant think anything..

In my mind juz repeat it not true!!not true!! I want back home make sure it not true!!…my brother sure play around with me…He always love play me…then rongjie drive and bryan,wei jing follow me back home..On the journey…wei jing “an wei” me…but my mind still repeat it not true!!…half way…my young sister call me say..she already saw “he”..it true he gone forever…that moment I felt my soul disappear half too..in same time wei jing catch my hands…later kim heong & chuew wen following call me…ask where am i…that time..i reali duno where am i…Actually I want cry loud but I no do it…because I scare I very make them worry…

Around 9.30pm near 10pm final reach home…I saw my mum ady lost her mind…That moment..my mind say “Tan Mei Tee…!! Must Brave & Tough to “an wei mum&others”

I felt that i must show tough & strong…if not my dad & mum & other sister will more sad…duno why my tear no come out & mind hav that energy push me…My young sister brave than me…she contact all my brother frenz & other…

Then my dad back from traffic & police station…he no cry & no say anything…then he straight go kitchen take his high pressure medicine & drink water…Later I near him and saw his eyes start red & got tears..For first time I saw my father so sad…& for 1^st time I hug him…

He say the accident happen when he at there also & see my brother died there nobody want take him to hospital…later only my dad ask a couple take my bro go…but it was late…What I can do was ask my dad take bath & sleep…but I m sure he cant sleep…That nite..we 4 girl sleep with my mum…but no one of us can sleep…

Early morning..we wake up…ready go Hospital Besar Klang take my brother body…at Unit Bedah Siasat (Forensic)…finally know his dead due to severe chest injured…Later finally I hav to believe also he died…when I saw his body out from bilik bedah siasat…

That time..he ady wear handsome…ready put in coffin.. so unlucky cant find a handsome photo..to show to people…His photo so few…

Next..his body cant put in our home…this is Chinese rule because parent still alive..so arrange his body put at rumah berhala pandamaran…That day I no cry lo..duno why…

Even the Indian Christian aunty & her family who knock my brother come ask my parent forgive her…(because she run away after knock my brother!! Lucky got people saw her car plat number…but she still lie when report to police..She say my brother(motor) knock her car…not she knock my brother!!!)..That time..my dad blur-blur sad then 4give her….

Later around 6pm people start come…my brother’s kolej frenz,teachers…secondary school teachers…our relatives..My parent frenz…my brother & sisters ‘ frenz come…Cant expect my secondary frenz all know even I no tell them ( actually got my sister’s frenz tell 1 of my frenz)…That nite duno why I can tahan..no rasa…I sit beside my brother body..no rasa…no cry..no sad…so thanx all people…my frenz..(sio fui..yi tong..kim heong…mimi..kit shun…ah jie..youth chean…ah soh..& other come)….ai choo,keat suan, kuan, ling,kelly,chuew wen no come but also sms support me…That nite..haha no bath…stay with my brother & my 2 sister & their husband…sleep awhile…

The next day..so shock..the time of my bro “chu bin” change from 2pm to 11am..i so worry…because xiao wei say they & hui zhang want follow…plus..my hp not good & low battery..& I also duno the direction to fairy park..(seng keng)… place my brother burn..But finally..they arrive safely…(xiao wei,rong jie,mei fong,huey ying & jun sean,hui zhang & wan li also came)..Thank GoD..their come bring support & love care me…so touch..

The following day…my mum & other sisters felt ok..but my dad pity still cant sleep at nite…then have to handle my brother stuff(bank..kolej loan..police-lawyer)..Lucky my bos..En hanif leave me until 30 Oct..So I can follow my dad manage my brother stuff…

Because my 2 sisters have their family & job…my young sister has to face her SPM coming soon..

Everyday..i remind myself to be tough..brave…(got many frenz sms me ask me be tough..brave..) but duno why…sometime..some hour sure I will cry back…weak back..haiz…mayb because hear my dad sad & say again my brother accident…I felt so sad…he so young..only 18 year old died at road…I felt so pain think that image of accident…I always think it is really no suffer pain till he died..??? no girlfriend…still virgin..haha…he still a lot no do..i also felt regret last time he say want go Cameron highland..but because no so many car plus we no think he pass away early…he cant go..

Haiz…so angry also..kolej & the pelanggar car insurans claim so many stuff…need so many step!!!Like no believe my brother pass away!! Then my mum always say my brother no chance buy thing for her..no chance eat biscuit that my grandma give..(that moment I cant tahan…tension….tired…)..but lucky each time got “dustbin guy girl” who listen my say…

Tmrw I will follow my dad handle lawyer lo..& then back ukm settle my stay kolej (stay hostel next sem) & my work which ady postpone long…I really need a lot time to cover my brother part…& teman my parents..because this family no boy around except my dad..so I must brave & tough like “guy” like a “boy”…time to be man…haha

I hope I can do it…my brother always in deep in my heart…Yes I can…Life still going ON…i will not let my parents,family & frenz worry me…:)

In my life..1^st time went interview to apply IT post..

Can say me nervous..no prepare..no think abou what is my future..

Always…I like ballon in air..fly according to wind..

haiz..i always like that..except once i decide myself was..step to UKM to study computer science

I no regret i enter UKM & take computer science..

But now is time me think deep inside my heart it is really i wan continue survive in ICT??

ThankQ the 2^nd guy..foo interview me & ask me a question..”Are you think what u want to do in future?”..(actuali..long time ago i aso got think this question but juz..duno..i avoid it..haiz)

Haha..so funny…go interview no think properly hw to answer that kind of question..(This time is other ppl ask me..really make me think again..damn shit me..my mind blank when he ask me..)

Actually i went interview to take experience..no think wan they hire me..(Duno why..*sampat gal ma)

wah..the 1^st guy interview me so good..teach me answer question he ask..hehe..

(ThankQ frenz..give me brave..confidence..during the interview..Thank nicholas..^.^)

I was thankful..GOD..1^st & 2^nd interviewer aso teach me a lot..Give me a lot lesson..

After this..i know what to do…aim good result in study..aim good in work haha..:)

Wah..THANK GOD…Give Us Good wheather…Sunny & windy…in the morning….& nice wheather in the important night..

I stil remember I & apple pie no sleep…( hehe I got sleep eyes a few time) fr midnite till the day…

We finish up the word decoration…lucky got apple pie(sue wen)..if not I alone sure cant do it…

But do something..dont mean all we plan work…On the afternoon..very sunny day (hot & sun shine bright..Plus heavy wind come) all our word decoration down (jatuh L—double tape—cant tahan..)

More damage was hui san’s pameran board aso cant tahan heavy wind…all down…(so pity yun ping & hui san & other help on 916 nite) …

Wah…all hav to decorate back..& arrange back…in hot sunny….skin burn ar…haha..i & other hav to jahit word at canopy…haha..so funny…

All busy….lucky got xiao qing’s roommate bicycle pump the ballon…& xin ku ler all the volunteer..ah fang …3 chao.. xiao qing + other volunteer… pump & handle the “bomb” ballon….

So strong is the guy…hav to move table arrange chair…”keng ar..zhang ti grp…chin fu(bos-always say “good”)..rong jie…..”

So busy grp…(program—yi wei…wei jing..li xin…xiao ching.. + protocol—wan yu..mei wei..4 leng lui—lily,mong fei,yun ping & mei cian..)…& ThankQ Nicholas that day come back help us..:) so lucky..not only Nicholas…got ah ben..see ying..fu yun..(technical)… wen ping (last time 1 of model)…yue mei…yee yun…bee hoon..see wai…silent helper..handsome wai loon…& other nice guy gurl… So happy c them again J

Ah wu..fu yang..xiao wei…bryan..(yean)..extra stronger…1 ppl do many job ar…

Lucky “mei shu” grp got huey ying & other…do whatever needed..hehe me curi tulang la..

Got Jun Sien(1 of handsome & beauty grp)…mad mad..take k “GIVE deng”…help ah wu…

Formal MC (pan hao..sue fang (:p sry if remember wrong)) our formal MC..u both adi do ur best J continue gamateh oh..

Informal MC..our lucky…got ming liang & wei jing…pro make up guy (leo chan..if I not mistaken) & other..help us make up…& other ppl..volunteer..help around

So hapi..this yrs got volunteer fr KTAR..chu ling (tomato without skin) & mei yi (++) sry if mistaken name..so nice..noe them…^.^..They help a lot..

Shu fen aso…I still remember shu fen & I (be helper)…at around 3pm…v go many place take thing, buy thing…(104 pack veggie rice..500 book..flower..opening gunting…candle& lotus candle…bungkus 7 pack mee goreng…cake)..last minute..shu fen hav to rush to flower shop again take flower special 4 VIP…superbusy…every1 busy…

The cake so heavy oh….so big so beautiful….(for celebrate 5 yrs old National Fo Guang Family)

So happi see many people…sry  if no layan baik…(less food eat..)..Hapi see Elaine..xiao juan…wen nee…su ching..li hui…jia li…quanyi…other)

I so nervous …1^st time serve the chasity home incharge ppl(we donate money to the home)…duno nothing…give whatever they request…(Lucky Nicholas, ah wu,rong jie..chin fu..yee yun..sue wen guide & help me)

So like all the program…magic show..singing..dancing…praying blessing….

:p Just so *.^ sad a bit..cant hand & take photo with tate chan…(zheng guo hui)..no take many photo around coz busy…So love 3 song He sang….:)

All full…hapi hapi…our effort..tired..”fu chu”….gain a lot

Lastly..wan great ThankQ my family..they give me support..(not back home  1 month aso ok),my roommate..always support..listen whatever I say…(nvm I back late)…my ex roommate..kuan,ling,ying,lee ting,Kelly ,my bos..elly..rye understand me & other frenz always support this activity & me..

ThankQ To all…include all name I no mention…

(Hope other ppl understand & apply “give”)

Happy Birthday Fo Guang Zhi Jia (5 yrs old)….Go go Jiayou….Continue Give..

Confident..happy..hope &  Fang Pian…to all….^.^

I still remember, our class 5 Saga ,2003 student very naughty & love play teacher..Every time end of class,we always say “ThankQ teacher and goodbye teacher..”very loud..haha..Teacher..i still remember on our class ‘s farewell party..You bake a chocolate cake for our class..very delicious..until now I miss the taste…

Your care & lovely teach us..we will never forget…miss your speaking…Yesterday 1.30pm (14 sept 2008) you leave this world..leave us…but you always in our heart…We will try our best talking English..Thank your lesson…(English lesson)

Hope you pass away in peace and remember us always Love You..

Again..ThankQ Teacher…Goodbye Teacher…:-)

3 Sept 08, 8.30pm I join Fo guang ..1 movie sharing…V see a cartoon movie “Doggy Poo”..Be4 we see the movie..we play game that build grp semangat…very meanful..

Then..see the movie..more felt this life is beautiful & full of hope..Every one that created by GOD has their own value…same like the doggy poo..it aso got value…be food for flower to grow…become beautiful flower that make our world beautiful…^.^

Every one need friend…not alone live in this world…Ya it true we face & make a decision alone..but in same time..we are part of living “stuff” in this magic world.. Do u ever think “why earth?” “why live in this world?”…Live for earn money? Live for enjoy? Live for Family? Live for love ppl & to be loved? Or live to felt the magic of world??….Our life is short…

Cant predict tmrw will happen wat…so stop sad & think bad.. and start ^^ hapi & enjoy this short life… Haha ar…

25 Ogos 2008 (11pm) Haha…Got a lot matter /event happen…I always keep think it as coincidence…but last sat til 2day..happen a lot coincidence…1st..last sat I back home wan visit my sick teacher, pn nor azah who at her home…but she again enter hospital…Actually want visit pn liew then go visit pn nor azah…but pn liew go China..haiz..final x visit…2nd actually last back home aso wan meet my frenz who study at Russia but becoz of the coincidence..hah..hav to wait nx year lo…

3rd…along back to UKM..seremban train aso..i take at kl sentral..same way aso the pencuri curi other ppl wallet…let me see & felt back d pain & scare again..in coincidence..i settle my touch & go problem…I take train at kl sentral..if not I take at KL stesen…haiz..coincidence or fact let me refresh back remind me extra be careful when take train…???

4th..2day…actually my faculty supervisor say want visit us who doing practical…but sudden he got “stuff” to busy…cancelled today visit..never mind…Then he call back say tmrw 9.30 morning will come….but..haha…sudden 2nite..my room door “rosak” cant close..cant lock…so bad..the abang aso cant fix it…later like sleep without door lo…I abit scare..i scare pencuri oli…The abang ask me complain office tmrw morning..office open at 8.30 morning gua…then my roommate got class at 8 morning..haha…finally me d one hav to make the complain..then also duno the office punctual or not..See..it fact or coincidence????? No no..is me unlucky…both aso important..

But..Tmrw not yet come…stop worry…Just hope & believe there have a reason for this happen :-)….That is fact of life…

Then You Look At Me

by celine dion

Laugh and cry
Live and die
Life is a dream we’re dreaming

Day by day
I find my way
Look for the song and the meaning

Chorus 1

Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I’m lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore

People run
Sun to sun
Caught in their lives ever flowing
Once begun
Life goes till it’s gone
We have to go where it’s going

Chorus 2

And you say you see
When you look at me
The reason you love like so
As lost I have been
I’ll find love again
And life just keeps on running
And life just keeps on running
And life just keeps running….for you

“What U expect in University?” This question was 1 of my senior ask me be4 I enter UKM…That time, I answer him…study , freedom fr parent law & find partner life lo..Haha…Today I think back really funny..my answer…But that time he told me university life very hard & not fun as u think….Now…if I meet him back…I will tell him..i agree uni life very hard but I not agree say uni life no fun…

Actually..Fun or no fun is up to tht personal think….

I got meet…my uni frenz..who just study & play arou as usual, who crash 1^st class, who busy uni activity,who busy study & uni activity, who be balance both side and who crash both prefect (education & activity)

Actually..whatever ppl..think what..is up to the ppl…but in my opinion..

After we work hard study to past every step..UPSR..PMR..SPM…Matri/STPM/Kolej to enter University….

So why at university..we still wan rush to be 1^st class, still kedekut ilmu??..ok mayb there many reason…but what goal?? Healthy competition? Yes I agree healthy competition…to adapt modern…nowadays requirement….with good manner..

But nw what we can see everyday in newspaper a lot social problem…a lot post-graduate no job..WHY?? haha nw every uni aso on educate ppl to activate in activity..what d reason..?? I sure every1 aso noe..juz lazy to take action…Eventually…graduate with theory + abit practical knowledge…what different with non-post graduate??? Haha abit “knowledge” but cant practical in life or work…

Maybe got sum disagree with my opinion…They say very happy…they got sumthing else..face…But…university life juz once…in life…past..then working life forever….

Marry life…But in future..I am sure they will think back…their university life..what i adi done at university…memory…

I sharing my thought not to influence ppl…but just wan say…every1 has their own way…But ppl who enter University…What they rush??? After rush 10 years sumthing for study & get good result….enter University again…rush…then got other else…rush wan enter working life..but they no think they will hav the rest of life after uni to work…

It is our life is rush..wealthy…glory….& realistic ? (EXCLUDED find love & other than i mention)  Let the beautiful, natural world end…Then is up 2 YOU….ppl got their right choose way of their life..

hehe i just express my thought….(dun terasa 4 sum ppl)…:p

3 Ogos,Sunday..17 ppl fo guang member + non member go visit rumah orang tua..at kajang..reali meanful..there beside normal and mental problem old folk aso got cacat kid…see them make me realize i am lucky…I 4got my problem lo..^.^

See many thing that trip…Life colourful make a person fun, happy, sad, despress, interesting…but the person must think positive only their life hapi & enjoy…

31,JUly..Yesterday..after see doctor at HUKM…so down…so fan…My mind oli think of it.."Remove or NOt Remove"..

Report out..my lump non cancerous..but nw got 3 month consider & decide wan keep it or remove it…

Got Malay guy doctor look bos la…but cant give advise wan..cant explain clear wan…He sure cant understand gal felt…undergo operation on breast..Ar…that moment my mind blank…

Later…along back..touch & go card again buat hal…

I wan complain liao..New card so many trouble..

Beside this problem…when reach ukm..my eldest sister call say mayb she got breast cancer but she no confrim…haiz..if she reali got..probablity i got ++ lo..then that time reali must remove it..^~^

Last few week..i happi..i thought i can brave & relax face it..but..

THis week…mayb plus sick..hapi, brave & relax say bye-bye to me..

Now what i can do..4get it 1st..my dad say ask me better dun wan undergo operation..coz scare danger wor…but all doctor i see..suggest me remove…haiz..

What i should do la………………?

Hope GOD give direction….